Sunday Update: Our Most Ridiculously Luxurious Toilet (Yes, Really)
We don’t normally post on Sundays, but this bathroom update was too good to wait. We’d previously praised inexpensive American Standard toilets and even said you could get great performance for under $100 — well, consider us eating those words. We just ran across a toilet that blows everything else out of the water. Think of it as the movie-star of toilets: sleek, attention-grabbing, and completely over the top. Feast your eyes:
What makes this toilet stand out? Here are the high-tech features that had us both laughing and seriously tempted:
- Heated seat and a heated foot blower for extra comfort
- Ambient lighting integrated right into the bowl
- Motion-activated lid and seat that open and close automatically
- Advanced bidet functions with customizable water settings
- Built-in speakers and a docking station for playing music
- Integrated air dryer that actually blows you dry
- Touchscreen remote to control every function like a little bathroom cockpit
Before you ask: no, it isn’t priced like a private jet. It’s listed for under $5,000 — which still sounds absurd for a toilet, and yes, one of us even noticed it didn’t qualify for free shipping despite a $4,600 price tag. It’s funny how the little things get you.
We ended up splurging on it. Why not? After weeks of sanding, painting, hauling, and demo, a heated seat, ambient lighting, and a soothing air-dry option feel like a legitimate morale booster. It’s amazing how a small upgrade like this can make the daily grind feel a little more civilized. After a long day with a sledgehammer or a roller full of paint, the idea of retreating to a warm seat that lights the bowl softly, plays our favorite song, and gently dries you off with the tap of a remote felt like pure luxury.
It also looked utterly gorgeous in photos—imagine this toilet in an all-glass bathroom overlooking a city skyline. I’ve always fantasized about a glass-walled bath; the drama of that setup combined with a high-tech fixture is borderline cinematic.
Okay, you probably suspected something sooner than we wanted. What gave it away — the bowl lighting, the glossy photos, or the unexpected Sunday post? If you guessed April Fool’s, you’re exactly right. We love staging a playful prank around here every year. It’s a tradition that keeps things light and reminds us not to take DIY too seriously all the time.
Psst — anyone else find it ironic that a $4,600 toilet doesn’t qualify for free shipping?
Pssst — prank traditions are a thing for us. Here are mentions of our previous April Fool’s posts: last year’s, the year before that, and the year before that.
Even though this was an April Fool’s reveal, the idea of high-tech bathroom upgrades is no joke. Smart toilets, bidet seats, heated elements, and built-in audio are genuinely popular upgrades in modern bathroom remodels. Whether you’re aiming for practical comfort or full-on bathroom luxury, there’s a wide range of products to choose from — and while most of us stick to sensible budgets, the occasional fantasy option makes for a great conversation and, clearly, a memorable Sunday post.
If you’re planning a bathroom refresh, think about which features would truly improve your day-to-day life: a quality bidet for cleanliness, a soft-close lid to stop slam noise, or even subtle lighting for nighttime use. You don’t need to spend thousands to gain comfort, but pretending you did for a holiday prank? Always worth it.