House Crashing: Shocking and Gross Home Intrusion Stories

When I was recently flipping through old photo albums with a friend—college reminiscing, you know—I was honestly shocked and a little grossed out by my grade school, dorm and first-apartment decor (not to mention my clothing choices). I’m pretty sure you’ll react the same. Most people assume I’m the type who folds underwear neatly (newsflash: I ball it up like everyone else). Ready for a blast from the past? Here’s my eighth-grade bedroom:

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You’ll have to look past my high-waisted, airbrushed winking jeans (the other cheek had an open eye), tie-dyed shirt and scrunchie. I have no defense besides: I grew up in New Jersey, those jeans were custom-made “down the shore,” and I thought they were artsy and cool. Posting this photo might go down as a major regret, but take a minute to look at the background. I always wanted to be an artist, so painting clouds on closet doors and choosing nonstandard trim makes sense in hindsight.

Full disclosure: I did most of these DIY projects while my mom worked late so she’d come home to “masterpieces.” She was great at feigning pride—I’d give her a C+. From the painted trim and closet doors it’s obvious I’d grow to love paint. But what about the beanbag, the stuffed-animal hammock and the baby seal poster (not the singer, an actual seal)? Maybe those early choices nudged me toward things like white ceramic animals later in life. There’s often a thread from childhood tastes to adult decor.

Next up: my freshman dorm room at FIT in New York City. I’m proud of my art-school credentials, but my dorm décor? Not so much.

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Ignore the Slim Shady poster (again, no defense) and the handwritten “room #1” label above the bed. Look instead at the denim bedding—I sewed a blanket from old jeans I’d saved for years—and the fish shower curtain I hung on the wall like a mural. In retrospect, if I’d covered the whole wall it might have actually worked for a dorm room. I also created faux crown molding using free postcards you often find near bar restrooms in NYC. That repurposing streak was probably an early sign of how I’d approach projects later on.

Repurposing continued into my first solo apartment in Brooklyn at age 20. Can you believe I lived alone there so young? I was fully in DIY mode.

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That beloved denim blanket? When I upgraded to a proper duvet, I turned the blanket into pillows—you can see them stacked under a curbside-find chair. The odd pink lumbar pillow on the chair was remade from an old satin camisole. I also made hanging hearts in the window from wax paper colored with crayons and baked for a stained-glass effect on the cheap. I’ve been penny-pinching and crafting ever since. There’s also a dark still-life painting I made for the wall—very Addams Family—but my art has lightened over time. I still make things constantly, from small shop items to larger art projects and home tutorials. Those early experiments clearly shaped my creative instincts.

So what’s the verdict? Shocked or amused? Still horrified by the airbrushed jeans? Did you picture my dorm room as preppy and whitewashed? Think about your own rooms from years ago—do any trends or pieces still show up in your current home? Did anyone else have a baby seal poster? I’d love to hear about those recurring motifs that sneak from childhood into adulthood.