When we paint, we end up talking about all kinds of odd little things we wouldn’t normally get around to. While repainting the bedroom, the conversation drifted to the names our parents almost gave us. It turns out my mom nearly named me Gina — which would have made us John & Gina. We laughed about that, though it’s hard to know if it’s only funny because we were there to hear it. Still, John’s dad’s choices take the prize.
He wanted to name John… wait for it… Lars.
Lars Petersik.
How hilarious is that? I can just picture meeting a tall, dirty-blond John at work and asking a coworker, “Oh, who’s that?” and hearing, “That’s Lars Petersik, he’s an account manager.” I would have cheerfully responded, “Niiiiice to meeeeeeet you Laaaaars,” stretching the vowels and over-enunciating in the way you do when you’re trying to slow down fast New York speech for someone else. It’s the same exaggerated cadence I use with my grandmother, who only speaks Italian. The image of it makes me laugh out loud. John would never have let me forget it — or maybe he would have waited a year and proposed anyway.
But the story doesn’t stop there. John’s dad also considered naming him “Vector” because he liked math. I have no idea how I managed to keep painting with tears of laughter streaming down my face. That got us curious about other near-miss names. Surely someone out there has a better almost-name story than Vector or Lars, right? Share yours — we’d love to hear them.