& Now A Letter To Ikea

Dearest Ikea,

We enjoy you. We truly do. But yesterday you exploited that relationship and I simply cannot bite my tongue this time. Simply because “some assembly required” is one of the terms of our relationship, it does not mean that we want to put together every single thing that we buy from you. This means you Kassett storage box.

Sure, putting together your furniture is frequently part of the Ikea lively. Not only do we gain an affordable and stylish item for our home, but it comes with a guaranteed sense of accomplishment. But there is no pride in having to assemble my own cardboard box. None at all. Need I remind you that an item like this comes free (and fully assembled!) with the purchase of plain things like shoes and cereal? So why must each of yours require multi-page instructions, a dozen screws and 15 minutes of my life that I will never get back?

Do not get me wrong, I appreciate a break from all that allen wrench action. But having to punch out 24 holes by hand was a bit ridiculous. You even went as far as to perforate the holes, but stopped short of removing them fully. Truly? Or was that a bonus gift. I get a storage box AND complimentary confetti?

In summary, it took me nearly an hour (and 48 screws!) to put together the four Kassett boxes that we picked up this weekend. That is more time than it took me to assemble the Expedit bookcase that houses them. They do look fairly darn good in the end. And I cannot complain about the $6/box price tag. But please, charge me the extra buck or two that it takes you to ship a pre-assembled box (I know shipping things flat saves me money, but a flat bookcase or bed is a lot more of a space saver than a 11.5″ box). I am begging you. Assist me assist you assist me. And I am sure that loving feeling will come a-floodin’ right back.

Sincerely, The builder

PS: Thank goodness the top of the box came pre-assembled. That, my friend, could’ve truly been a deal breaker.