Cut Your Man’s Hair, step by step

Let us talk about Hands-on haircuts, shall we?

This is one of those posts I never thought I’d write (it is certainly not quite home related) but due to a surprising amount of requests, here it is. I guess anything that has to do with saving money and doing something yourself is fair game, right? I have no idea how I got into cutting people’s hair, but throughout high school and college I simply played around, cutting off a guy’s mullet here and giving my BFF a especially short pixie cut there (all at my “client’s” requests, of course). Why did they trust me? I have no idea. Perhaps I simply have a trustworthy face? I most certainly do not have any formal training. I simply sort of treat hair like I’d imagine I’d make a butter sculpture. You simply remove the extra stuff so you are left with the shape you want. Confidence inspiring, huh? But a bunch of people in fact noticed my latest work of haircut art on John’s head in party pictures yesterday, so… score! Haha.

The funny thing is that we realized I have been cutting John’s hair for seven whole years! And I have likely dished out 50+ other haircuts to other friends and family members throughout the last ten years (why yes I have cut my brother in law’s hair in the backyard of John’s parents beach house). So take this post for what it is, one not-professional gal’s take on how she grooms her man. An above the neck manscaping lesson if you will.

But since it is extremely impossible to tell you how I cut John’s hair and a lot more descriptive to simply show you, we in fact made a video, thanks to the assist of our handy little tripod. Look at that shaggy hair John had going on in this “setting up for the video” shot:

It is remarkable what a little at-home clippage can do. How YOU doin’ hubby?

But on with the video! Let us get up close and personal with those light brown locks, shall we? Oh yes, and I have primer/paint all over my hands from Clara’s birthday dollhouse (more on that tomorrow). You can watch it below or here on YouTube.

For anyone who cannot watch the video with the sound on (mehaps you are at work?) it is in fact still fairly straightforward to understand on mute (since you simply have to see what my hands are doing to get the gist). And I have included a few written pointers in bullet form below, simply to assist anyone with a sucker on standby who is ok with you experimenting on their head. I say that in the most kind and loving way, since all of my friends and family who have let me go to town on their hair are fairly darn excellent. I in fact have not had an oopsie since college (I went a little shorter than I meant to on a gal in dorms, but she totally had the bone structure to work it). Although now that I have made that claim I feel like I should knock on wood. Or John should, since he’d be the most likely person to have to walk around with a potential hair snafu if it ever were to happen. Anyway, on with the pointers:

• I cut hair when it is dry or quite lightly misted with water because my experience when cutting wet hair has been that it “shrinks up” and is consistently shorter than I mean for it to be – which can lead to profuse apologies. Also hair that is wet might not “lay” the way it does when it is dry (ex: a cowlick might make itself known when hair’s dry and result in an uneven effect).
• I cut John’s hair at night after Clara’s off to bed so we can get ‘er done without distractions (no toddler running through the hair pile on the floor- which Burger thankfully avoids like the plague).
• I do not use a buzzer and simply shave John’s neck for him after the haircut with a regular shaving razor. That consistently makes things look pleasant and polished, and this way we do not have to store a big hair buzzer (or pay for one).
• I simply use hair-cutting scissors that I got for like $5 from CVS. They do not even have a brand name on them to pass along. Sorry!

• I use my fingers to keep things even. For example, when I cut John’s hair I cut it one-finger-length from his scalp, so it all stays that length. I go a little longer on top – perhaps two finger lengths (see the video for more on this).
• I consistently try to cut hair vertically (ex: parallel to John’s spine) – except for trimming the line around his neck – since it can look dorky and block-ish if you cut things horizontally (parallel to the shoulders). It is truly hard to explain in words, but the video makes this much more clear.
• I am not a pro, so this is not real hairdresser scoop. Haha. I am simply a crazy girl with a penchant for pickles and cutting hair – so this is simply what works for me (and John, my sweet hair-model hubby).

Oh and here is an after pic from the back, since that might assist you folks visualize it from that angle.

Hope that helps any Hands-on-haircutting-hopefuls out there! Does anyone else host haircuts at their house? The craziest thing is that I simply calculated that we have likely saved at least $700 in the past seven years simply by me cutting John’s hair (not counting all the times that I cut my own hair or ask John to snip a straight line in the back when I need a little trim and cannot reach – which might be an additional $500 in savings over the years). That is a lot of cheddar ceramic animals…