Just to be clear, that post title was meant to be read with a Dr. Dre-style swagger (like in that clean 1999 classic). Now that we’ve got the intro out of the way, let’s talk pumpkins.
This year we picked up some lumpy, bumpy orangey-red pumpkins instead of the usual smooth yellow-orange ones. The most fun thing about them is that each has stems on both the top and bottom, which felt delightfully weird. As soon as we brought them home we started hollowing them out. I directed John to carve a face that looked like a serial killer (yes, I always have to pause to correct myself when I almost type “cereal killer”), and the result was perfectly creepy. In John’s defense, he nailed the look—mission accomplished.
Mmm, pumpkin seeds. They were all gone before these photos were uploaded. What does that say about us? Either we’re slow bloggers or simply very hungry for seasonal treats. I’ll go with the latter. And because I’ve been having fun with “___, there it is” lately: Scoop, there it is.
After hollowing both pumpkins, we broke out the power tools. Yes, really. We’d joked about doing something “wormy” for our daughter Clara—carving holes and stuffing gummy worms in so they looked like they were crawling out—when we remembered the wooden craft-store snakes I’d painted last year.
Clara loves those wiggly snakes almost as much as worms, so combining them with pumpkins felt perfect. We used a snake-sized drill bit to bore holes and then threaded the snakes through. I loved how the drill made little ribbons of pumpkin as it cut through.
Oh snap—these are some badass pumpkins. We mixed them with a few sinister ceramic animals for effect. You definitely wouldn’t want to meet this display in a dark alley. Let’s get a closer look.
There it is: a lumpy, wart-covered, double-stemmed pumpkin infested with snakes, with a crow perched on top. Tough luck for Mr. Pumpkin.
Here’s the other pumpkin, holed up and snaked out.
And because I couldn’t resist a little wordplay, I rearranged my printing block letters that normally spell LOVE to read EVIL instead (I’d previously drawn the “I” on the back of the O). It felt right for the scene.
We grouped in some ceramic animals to heighten the creep factor. Don’t they look delightfully menacing alongside a crow, snakes, and two gnarled pumpkins? I especially like that the frog and the pumpkins both have warts.
I even grabbed our white ceramic rabbit from the deck because in the right setting he can read as unexpectedly fierce. It’s fun to imagine a normally cute bunny getting a moment on the wild side before returning to his cuddly persona the rest of the year.
I briefly considered painting red “blood” drips over the word LOVE, but that felt too permanent. Instead I might cut letters from red construction paper and affix them temporarily with poster putty. For now, I’ll let the upbeat message linger above my spooky tabletop display.
We also plan to reframe our “skullified” photos—an annual gag where we slip the altered image into our hallway frame wall and see who notices. It’s a small, goofy tradition that comes out every Halloween.
If you want more Halloween ideas, our Holiday project page has nearly a dozen posts filled with pumpkin projects, monograms, bat-themed crafts, bloody candle ideas, and other creative spooky decor to inspire you.
How are you spooking up your home this year? Does your plan involve ceramic animals and a power drill? If not, we strongly encourage you to reconsider. Mic drop.
P.S. John misses you and apologizes for being quiet the past few days—he’s been polishing a PowerPoint for our talk in Cincinnati this Saturday. He’ll be popping back in later with more posts for you.