Over the years of talking about home projects, readers often ask about my family — how many siblings I have, what my childhood was like, and so on. I always describe my upbringing as somewhat nontraditional, in the best possible way. I was raised by my mom and dad, who separated when I was very young (a few years after my younger brother Daniel was born). That meant two houses and lots of happy bouncing between them.
I remember once a kid at school teased me about having divorced parents. I replied, “I have two houses and you only have one — I get double the holiday presents.” Looking back, that was a brilliant comeback. The teasing stopped quickly.
I also grew up with my half brother Adam, born after my dad married my stepmom Nina some years later — he’s eleven years younger than me. You might recall him from his cameo in the most embarrassing moment ever caught on film when I was 17.
I often say I’m the oldest of five — and the only girl. Where do the other two fit in? My Aunt Kay Kay (my mom’s sister) and her two sons, David and Darius, moved in with us when my brother and I were very young (Daniel was three and I was six). My mom is one of seven children, and while several aunts and uncles lived closer, Aunt Kay Kay and her boys were in Maryland before they moved. We didn’t see those cousins much until they moved in, and because they were about 2 and 4 at the time, we were beyond excited to have them with us.
My aunt had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, and living together meant my mom could support her while my aunt helped with the kids. My mom was an attorney working hard to make partner, often getting home late, so it was comforting to have Aunt Kay Kay there after school. Most nights she made dinner and helped with homework. It was a lively household — four kids born within five years — and growing up in that environment shaped who I am today. Here’s Aunt Kay Kay with me and my cousin David in the pool when we were little. She was beautiful.
Aunt Kay Kay was always laughing. She was “the nice one.” I, as the oldest of the bunch, proudly wore the title “the bossy one.” My brother Daniel was “the smart one,” Darius was “the funny one,” David was “the crazy one,” and my mom was “the strict one.” So when we wanted permission for something, we usually asked Aunt Kay Kay before we asked Mom.
It was a chaotic little madhouse, but it was ours and we loved it. When people ask how many siblings I have, I say I’m the oldest of five and the only girl. For those curious for more detail, I explain that the five includes one brother, one half brother, and two cousins who grew up with us like brothers. We had all kinds of adventures — building forts in the woods, epic sock fights, and even karate tournaments in New York City (that’s Darius on the left, me next to him, Daniel second from the right, and David on the right). We did well that day.
My aunt battled multiple sclerosis with incredible courage. She kept smiling and joking, always working to stay mobile. Over time she moved from cane to walker to wheelchair, and for the last decade she was bedridden. That never stopped her sense of humor — putting Burger or Clara in her bed always made her giggle. She was the strongest, bravest, and sweetest person I know.
Yesterday she passed away. It was an extremely sad day. I’m sharing this memory not to be mournful but to remember how profoundly wonderful and formative it was to have her in our lives. I want Clara someday to read about her Great Aunt Kay Kay. She could light up a room then, and remembering her now brings a smile to my face. Just picturing us gathered around the breakfast table fills me with warm nostalgia.
We’ll be back this afternoon with regular DIY content. In the meantime, reach out to the people you love — call, text, email, or message them. Family is a blessing, and I’m deeply grateful for mine.