What We Registered Meant for When We Got Married

Q: Hey folks!! I find that I frequently look to you all on things Hands-on related, but more frequently than not, on things life related. I would enjoy to hear items in or around your house that you are so glad you own because it helps with the day to day. I truly enjoyed reading about how you saved money with Clara (what items you skipped out on or chose to go back and buy) and how you saved money with your wedding. I am getting married next June and it would be especially helpful to hear what things my fiance and I should register for (and what we should not). You folks are my go-to! – Tyne

A: Let us do this. We thought it would in fact be lively to search our brains to see if they would even stretch back to 2007 and remember what we got, what we still enjoy, what we regretted asking for, and what we wish we’d asked for. Because friends and relatives can be amazingly generous (and at least in our family truly seem to appreciate a list of things you enjoy so they do not have to guess), so it all comes down to thinking long and hard about what you in fact will use and enjoy for the long haul. No pressure, right?

Registry items are certainly one of those personal preference things (some people might enjoy that they registered for formal china, while other folks like us are glad to skip it) but in general we think the key is to know how you live and what you will in fact use/need (registering for a Kitchenaid mixer when you do not cook/bake is likely not the best idea). So try to toss out romantic notions of who you “should be” someday (ex: do not picture yourself as “a grown up” hosting a giant formal 20 person dinner if this will not in fact happen – not everyone grows up, gets married, and does that).

Instead, try to focus on how you live now and how you realistically think you will continue to live and entertain over the years. Whether you are a casual couple or are fancy and formal, embrace who you are and think about what you will truly use and enjoy. Chances are you will still be who you are in a few decades – you might evolve a little, but you likely will not become a fully distinct couple with a fully distinct personality and lifestyle.

Also, trying to choose things that are classic never hurts, simply so that if your tastes change over time, you will not be fully over a bunch of style-specific stuff that you once enjoyed but now loathe. It can be fairly pricey to re-buy everything instead of going with something timeless – and you can consistently add personality later with inexpensive and straightforward to switch out items, like patterned cloth napkins, table runners, etc. See? White dishes, clear glasses, and basic silverware can be dressed up a whole bunch of ways:

We also learned that it helped whenever possible to choose things that are attractive sufficient to be left out (ex: a pleasant stainless steel toaster or blender) because you never know what you will leave out for convenience’s sake. So skipping something in a crazy color that might clash with your future kitchen curtains or forgoing something especially low-cost that you’d never leave out in favor of something that looks a little more elegant is typically the way to go for lazy folks like us who tend to leave the blender out for three weeks after we make smoothies.

But sufficient chitchat, we thought it would be lively to share a list of the stuff we registered for and still enjoy to this day, a few things that we regret putting on our registry, items that we passed on (and why), and items that we wish we had brought in to the list. So without further ado…

Kitchen Stuff We Registered For And Still Enjoy:

• Basic silverware from Crate & Barrel
• White cloth napkins
• Basic white dishes that go with everything (we are still loving that they are classic and they are not too precious, so if one breaks we will not cry for days)

• Good serving bowls and serving ware (three salad/chip bowls, three large platters)
• Stainless blender & toaster (we also have a griddle)
• A cute strainer (ours is bright yellow)
• Chunky wood cutting boards (two, since we leave them out on the counter because they are charming and use them all the time)

• Plain and small (straightforward to store) can opener (we did not want a giant electric countertop one)
• Cute clear pepper corn and sea salt grinders (classic, yet kinda fancy since they grind)
• Basic glass pitcher (we certainly tried to go for timeless basics)
• Stemless wine glasses (they are more versatile, so they can also work for oj or smoothies)

House Stuff We Registered For And Still Enjoy:

• Two Dolce lounge chairs from Target that we still use today (they are in the guest room of this house)
• Two basic glass based lamps that lived in our first house’s living room and this house’s bedroom/entryway
• Organic bed sheet set (in white) and four pleasant bed pillows and cases
• Vivid large leather photo album that we used for all of our wedding photo strips
• Fluffy white towels (which we still use to this day, both in our bathroom and the guest bath)
• West Elm daybed (from John’s way too generous Godmother)
• West Elm parson’s desk (from my way too generous BFF Cat)

Stuff We Got And Later Regretted (all our fault – we wish we had chosen more wisely):

• Hepa filtered vacuum (regret: we registered for a low-cost one that did not hold up quite well, so we later upgraded to a Bissell Helix Bagless Upright)
• Set of knives in a knife block (regret: again, totally our fault, but we chose a low-cost-ish set that we have since had to replace, but our current one is by Paula Deen from HomeGoods and we like it)
• Basic white mugs (regret: we did not think about scale at all, so the set that we got is so small it was sort of like teacups – we have since replaced them with larger mugs that in fact work for tea and hot chocolate without feeling like you are at a kid’s tea party)
• Cordless hand vac (regret: we wish we had done more research before randomly choosing something, since ours bit the dust fairly fast – we later replaced it with a Dirt Devil Kurv)
• A few basic pots and pans (regret: they were not strong quality and got scratched and beaten up fairly fast – we later learned about Greenware pots and pans, which are eco-friendly and teflon free, so we asked for them for Christmas in 2009 and have been enjoying them ever since)

Stuff We Passed On (mostly specific kitchen gadgets after we realized we simply would not use ’em):

• Coffee maker (we are a tea household, and even when coffee folks stay with us we all go to Starbucks)
• Kitchenaid mixer (as much as I’d enjoy to buy one in a lively color, it would totally collect dust)
• Monogrammed towels and robes (we are not robe people and basic white towels sans monogram did it for us)
• Espresso machine (same as coffee maker, simply would not get used)
• Ice cream maker (did not think we’d ever use it)
• Toaster oven (after thinking it through we chose a stainless steel toaster and an oven were all we needed, and five years later we are still glad without one)
• Rice cooker (much like the ice cream maker, we simply did not think we’d use something so specific)
• Panini press (ditto)
• Waffle maker (ditto)
• Martini glasses (ditto)
• George Foreman grill (ditto)

Stuff We Have Since Picked up (if we could turn back time, we’d have registered for these too):

• Pleasant set of wood spoons and spatulas for a caddy next to the stove (get things in sets whenever possible, our old ones were all mismatched and later we updated to a matched set and appreciated how much better they looked)
• Immersion blender (we did not miss any other gadgets but we did end up yearning for this one – and we use it frequently sufficient to warrant storing it)
• Cute “Cucina” soap and lotion set from Anthropologie (so charming on the counter in a kitchen or bathroom)

• More specific things as rooms evolved and our taste became more clear (ex: green cloth napkins, J & S mugs, metallic holiday glasses, etc)
• Sonicare toothbrushes (wish we had thought to register for these folks)
• Two big clear glass containers for cereal, flour, sugar on the counter
• Clam shell fruit bowl from ZGallerie (it has been our fruit bowl for years)

I am sure we forgot a few items (it was five years ago!) but that is a fairly good idea of what we registered for, what we regretted/replaced, what we skipped, and what we wish we had brought in. And after compiling that list it made me want to poll some friends and relatives to hear their five go-to registry items (you know, because I am nosy) so here are their responses. It is so interesting to see who loves what the most (and it certainly reinforces that knowing what you will enjoy and use is more essential than putting too much stock into what works for someone else (like slacker chefs and non-coffee-drinker like us, haha).

• My BFF Katie: white dishes, white platters, white towels, stainless toaster, and basic silverware
• My other BFF Cat (you’ve seen her wedding here): basic white towels, a silver goes-with-everything serving platter, everyday dishes (colorful Fiestaware bowls, plates, and serving dishes), a brightly striped ceramic pitcher from Crate & Barrel, and a cute bowl set from Anthropologie.
• My friend D from All Things G&D: my crockpot, a good set of knives, good pots and pans, an Aerobed (air mattress) and G’s heavy bag (for boxing – it was his “guy” gift from all of his groomsmen).
• My friend Heather (you’ve seen her wedding here): everyday dishes, a blender, nesting bowls, picture frames, a Rainbow vacuum cleaner. Things I never use: martini glasses, electric knife, cake stand, and ice cream dishes (why did I register for special ice cream dishes when basic bowls work even better?!).

• My friend Cody: plush white towels, a 9 x 13 baking dish, a throw blanket, a welcome sign wall hanging, and of course white dishes.
• My friend Kristin (you’ve seen her excellent house here): white everyday dishes, knives/cutlery, small electronics like toaster/hand mixer, serving platters that do not go out of style (plain but pleasant), and basic glasses. All boring kitchen stuff! But I have friends who got married 8-10 years ago and registered for trendy everyday ware (in a specific color and style) and are now replacing it all since they no longer like it!
• My friend Lisa: a pleasant set of knives, pots and pans, flatware, and an ice cream maker (we have been married 13 years, so nearly everything else has been replaced).
• My brother (who is officially Doctor Dan, not Nearly-Doctor-Dan – woot!): basic towels, a good knife set, plain flatware, a coffee maker, and picture frames.

• My sister-in-law Katie: coffee maker (still going strong after 9 years!), casual dishes, stainless steel silverware, serving dishes that match our casual dishes, Wustof knives (we surely would have put pots and pans on this list but we already had those before we got married, but those are still going strong too).
• My mother-in-law Kathy: wow- who can remember?! Haha. Crock pot, hand crank ice cream maker, big woven basket that we use as a laundry basket, glass canister set, and a striking bowl. We were quite practical and did not register for fancy china.

So there you have it. A whole lotta registry loves and a few shoulda-woulda-couldas. What are your go-to registry items? Anything you got that you wish you hadn’t? Or that you later purchased and wished had made it onto your registry? Hindsight is 20/20, huh?