The 411 On Baby #2: a house log

Holy cow, I think you folks had even more questions than the last time we did this after announcing that Clara was on the way! But it was lively to dive in and answer as many things as we could before hitting 4,500 words (because honestly that is pushing it, even for us). So here are a whole lot of answers for you sweet folks who had us beaming all day on Wednesday after our little bun announcement. We have so much to be thankful for, and you folks are certainly on the list.

Will you find out the sex of the baby? Are you taking a blood test to find out early, like Maternity21? Do you or John have a preference? Sherry, any “maternal instinct” feelings on whether this bean is a lady bean or a lad? After Clara’s scary birth, all we truly hope for is a healthy baby. Sounds cliche, but it is true. A little sister for Clara would be adorable, and it is also lively to think about having a boy since that is something we have never experienced. I have a feeling it is a girl, but I certainly could be wrong. My doctor relies on 20 week ultrasounds for the big reveal, so we will not know what is cooking until November. But we are looking forward to “the half-time show.” With Clara it was such a pleasant exciting moment in the middle of everything to learn who was joining our family – and of course we will tell you folks when we know. In the meantime it is lively to have a little while to guess and wonder and lie in bed and talk about ten million possible scenarios and names and nursery ideas.

Is this the secret side project that you folks have been working on? Nope! While technically the baby was a secret project, it is not the secret project that we mentioned in our blogiversary pie chart. That is a side gig that we have been doing for over a year (we did not put kid-time on those graphs, so Clara care is not on there either). Hilariously sufficient, our secret project is also due to come out this spring! Ahh! Cannot wait to get the ok to spill those beans. Perhaps in a few months…

How distinct has this pregnancy been in comparison to the first? Has your morning sickness subsided? Have you found anything that worked? I was never truly that tired while pregnant with Clara but I am feeling a lot more fatigued with this one, although I hear that is fairly common since I have a child to run after this time. With Clara I was sick in the morning (around 8-10am) which lasted until 16 or 17 weeks – so typically after I woke up and got sick a few times I could eat something heavy for breakfast (I enjoyed a baked potato or a bagel with cream cheese) and then be good for the rest of the day. With this pregnancy I am having all day sickness, which threw me for a loop for the first couple of months but now I feel like I am sort of a pro at navigating the nauseous 24/7 waters. It is all for a good cause! I have tried everything from ginger candies and ginger gum to acupressure bands and B6/B12/magnesium. Seems like “bowing to the bowl” as I affectionately call it, is simply part of growing this remarkable little bun, so it is all worth it… although I would not be mad if it ended before 17 weeks this time. Here is hoping!

Do you think that this will be your last baby or do you think that you will go back for more? John and I agreed we’d take family planning one kid at a time, so we will not say a firm yes or no to three before we have adjusted to two, but at this point we are both excited and satisfied by the idea of being a family of four (well, five with the Burgs).

Sherry, what prompted you to take a test? Morning sickness, food aversions, exhaustion? My earliest symptom with Clara was feeling dizzy (even simply sitting on the sofa) so when I had that again I thought… could it be?! It was so exciting to confirm it. I stared at the test for five minutes before it sunk in.

How did you tell John? We had been trying for a while but I tried not to say anything to lead him to believe that I was pregnant simply because I did not want to get his hopes up if I was not. So even when I was feeling dizzy, I did not want to jinx myself and say “dude, I am totally preggy” only to find out I was not. So I waited to take a test in the morning, could hardly contain myself when it came up positive, and then hid it for a little John-surprise later. Around 9:00 that morning I was working on a post and I said “hey John can you come look at this with me?” and pointed to my screen, but I had put the positive pregnancy test on the keyboard. John came over and looked at the screen for what seemed like forever and then said “it looks good – waiiit a minute!” and saw the test sitting there on the keyboard. He laughed and I laughed and we smooched. It was sweet.

How did you tell your parents/family? Did you truly wait until the end of your first trimester?! Yup, simply like we did with Clara! We simply prefer to get that “safe to share” salute from the doc – plus we enjoy to deliver that news in person if we can. That opportunity presented itself this weekend when everyone was gathering at our house to celebrate John’s dad’s birthday. We had convinced my mom (Nonna) to schedule her fall visit to coincide with it, so we could tell nearly all of our parents at once. For the actual reveal, we played off of John’s family’s “birthday crown” tradition. His mom consistently made paper crowns for them growing up and the tradition has continued even now that everyone’s an adult. So in addition to making a crown for his dad, John thought it would be funny to make one for me, with “Birthday Boy” on his dad’s and “Pregnant Lady” on mine. I wondered if it was weirdly thunder-stealing of us (hijacking his birthday to announce our baby) but we realized that there is likely nothing more exciting for our parents than hearing that they are going to be grandparents again, so we went for it. And it was excellent. John popped the crown on his dad’s head and as we all clapped and cheered John walked over to me and put mine on my head too. Everyone went crazy. It was excellent. Nothing beats being surrounded by the family and wearing a wicked excellent homemade paper crown.

How did you tell Clara? Does she get it? We chose to tell Clara the same day we announced to our whole family. She’s so chatty that we worried she’d spill the beans prematurely and it felt unfair to get her all excited about it but then ask her not to talk about it with anyone else. She was playing with her cousins during the whole crown reveal, so moments after that celebration John and I took her aside and told her there was a baby swimming around in my belly. I was not sure how into it she’d be, but she was in love with the news. It was adorable and I cried like a baby. She rubbed my belly, and put her ear up to it, and kissed it and asked the sweetest questions (Is the baby getting her face wet? She might not like that! Is she being a good listener in there?). I was amazed by how much she “got it” and how interested she was. And every day since she has talked about the baby and how she’s going to share her toys and be gentle and hold the baby like this (*mimes holding a doll and rocking it gently*). She’s going to be the best big sister ever. Excuse me while I sob for an hour or two.

Does Clara have a guess on the sex of the baby? Or any name suggestions? She says it is going to be a girl, and she wants to name her Pom-pom Petersik. So far we are highly amused, but not convinced.

What are you doing to prepare Clara for a sibling? We are simply talking about things like “this empty room will be the baby’s room” and “when a baby is truly compact it sleeps a lot.” Simply mentioning little things whenever she asks or seems interested. Mostly I have been telling her that she’ll consistently be my first baby and I enjoy her so much and even if I have to feed the baby or hold the baby when it cries, I will consistently be loving her at the same time, and that my heart is so big and full of enjoy for both of them. I never want her to feel displaced or second-fiddle – and I hear from a lot of my friends that they feel the same way then they are pregnant (so it is pleasant to know I am not the only sniffly hormonal one).

Is the new baby also going to be called the bean, or does this one have a distinct nickname? This one seems to have affectionately become known as the bun. It seems fitting since Clara still holds the title of The Bean, and of course we have The Burgs… so The Bun rounds out our little trio.

How far along are you? When are you due? With every checkup, the measurements they take seem to shift the date a bit one way or another (and due to complications with Clara’s birth I will not be able to go full term, so I will likely be delivered about a week early – but that is something they’ll decide at the quite end). The best guess is that I am in my 13th week and we will have the baby sometime around the middle of April, although that might continue to change as the baby grows and they monitor me.

Do you have any names rolling around in your head yet? We tend to like names with personal or family meaning (Clara was named after John’s grandma while her middle name honors my dad and my Strong Aunt) so the name of a family member or one that references something special to us seems to be what we are typically drawn to. We generally like to toss out ideas simply for lively in the beginning, but we do not pin anything down until we find out the sex of the baby. Even then, we plan not to lock anything in (or share our finalists) until we meet the baby. So we will likely go into delivery day with two name contenders, and then say “yup, totally a ___.”

Will you be doing a weekly photo project with this baby like the one you did with Clara? Yes, we’d enjoy to! We are not sure if we will do the same thing (bright fabric + white onesie + photoshopped week number + cute baby) or if we will come up with something else. We have toyed with something like putting the baby in/on/around distinct things each week to show scale/growth and vary the background (like in a basket, on a wagon, on a pillow) but we are not sure if we will run out of things or it’ll get too complicated. We will certainly do something, we simply do not have a clue what yet.

Are you due on the same date as Katie Bower? Did you try to time it with Katie’s pregnancy or was that a glad coincidence? She’s due sometime in March, and I am due around mid-April, so we are in fact about the same distance apart as last time (Will was April, Clara was May). It is consistently pleasant to have someone to talk pregnancy symptoms with (we sound like a lively bunch, eh?) and I like that she’s paving the way, especially because she’s on number three. I keep telling her she has to warn me about all the things that I forget are coming – it is been a whole lot longer since I did this! As for if we planned it, I do not think we could have planned it if we tried! We both hoped to expand our families and had been trying, but ending up in such a close range for our due dates again was a complete coincidence. We each have other friends who are expecting around that time too, so it feels like there is a little spring baby boom.

After such a traumatic birth with Clara, how did you know it was the right time to try again? How do you manage the anxiety? Second time around you will have a scheduled c-section right? Does that make it less of a risk for you? Yes, my placental abruption was triggered by labor, so it is safest for me (and this baby) not to go into labor again. So I will be closely monitored and will have a planned c-section whenever we think labor is impending (I’d never want to give birth too early, so there will be a lot of monitoring, but waiting too long and abrupting before having the baby could be quite dangerous for both of us). So yeah, it is sort of complicated but I am trying to simply have faith and appreciate this blessing and remember how remarkable the medical team was that saved Clara. I think recognizing that I cannot control everything (stressing and worrying will not solve anything) helps too. As for how I knew it was the right time to try again, I think we simply needed some time. This baby will be four years younger than Clara, and putting that much time between her birth and getting pregnant again simply felt right for us. I was able to heal (physically and mentally) and somehow the excitement now outweighs the fear, which it certainly did not even a year ago. I am still a bundle of nerves, but I also feel so thrilled and humbled to be pregnant – and so thankful for everything that is going well so far. It is all we can ask for.

How did the timing of this relate to some of your other big events – book tour, moving, the showhouse, etc? Did you intentionally plan around those? The book tour and the move were both completed before I became pregnant (it was pleasant timing to have already began settling in at this new house when we learned the good news). And while we certainly did not want to throw pregnancy into the mix during the craziness that was our book tour, we still have busy months ahead of us with writing our second book, the showhouse, and the “secret project” (the last two of those have deadlines within weeks of my due date). So we are doing our best to plan, get ahead wherever we can, and remember some advice that we got before having Clara: if everyone waited until they had plenty of spare time on their hands to have children, it might get put off forever. Sometimes you simply have to dive in and make time for something that is as essential to you as family.

Is 2014 going to be the year of baby #2 and book baby #2?! If so, does that mean you will be on tour with a newborn and we will all get to oogle him/her? As sweet as that sounds, our second book likely will not be out until 2015 or 2016 (they take so long!) so this baby will lap the book by a mile. We are grateful for that though, since touring with a baby would most likely be miserable for all parties involved (a little baby-travel is lively, but 30 flights over a few weeks might be a bit much).

I know that is kind of personal, I am simply curious if it took you longer to conceive #2 than Clara, because it seems like everyone I know, myself included, did. Yup, it took us longer for #2 as well!

When you threw your back out during the Oprah shoot…was that a euphemism for “morning sickness”? Nope, I in fact was not pregnant then (it was back in May when they filmed that) but I sure am thankful that I have made it through moving and early pregnancy without doing that again!

What pointers you have for a fellow pregnant Hands-on lover. What types of projects do you continue doing while pregnant and what do you stay away from? I know you all typically use no-VOC paint but I was not sure if you took any other precautions. I was truly careful when I was pregnant with Clara, and I am following the same guidelines with this pregnancy – consistently using no-VOC paint with no-VOC colorants (Olympic’s Premium line, Mythic, or Benjamin Moore’s Natura line all are wonderful for that) in a well ventilated area. I also use sealers that are safer (Safecoat Acrylacq can be ordered online and is a strong baby-safe non-toxic alternative to the fumier stuff).

If something’s oil-based (like spray paint) I either wear a high quality respirator (not one of those paper ones, a real VOC-blocking one) or I ask John to take over if it is a more involved project (wearing the mask for too long makes breathing difficult when I am pregnant for some reason). I also check product labels or Google around to see if something I am planning to do or use (like Crazy Glue) is bad while pregnant (hint, it is!). I also skip any heavy lifting or especially vigorous work. I am all about climbing a ladder to limb up a tree or painting ceiling beams while arching my back for five hours when I am not pregnant, but when I am, those jobs get wait-listed. Update: being exposed to lead paint is also especially dangerous if you are pregnant. More on that here.

Do you plan to make any changes with blogging? What are your plans for maternity leave? Are you considering daycare/full-time preschool or hiring someone to assist with the journal? We do not know exactly what will happen, simply because this job has consistently surprised us (who knew we’d be here 6 years ago?), but we do not have plans for childcare or journal employees at this point. We’d be fooling ourselves if we did not acknowledge that having another child to raise will require some major re-balancing of things, but we hope to continue to switch off with kids, projects, post-writing, and the rest of our work-at-home-parent jobs to the best of our ability.

I did not take any maternity leave when Clara arrived (even with an emergency C-section we did not miss a post) but we did write a lot of posts in advance and “stockpiled” some stuff in anticipation of having a newborn, so we hope to do that again this time around. The truth is that two kids could be a total game changer and we might need to make more drastic changes, but we will cross those bridges when we get there. For now we are simply readying ourselves for the adventure and leaving ourselves open to the possibilities, which seemed to work when Clara came home (it is comforting to remember that we have juggled a newborn before while both being full time bloggers).

Do you see the journal going more towards lifestyle/mommy type of stuff? Our site has consistently had family stuff mixed in among the home chatter (we have posted about birthday celebrations, road trips, anniversary traditions, trips to the fair, and other random thoughts from the quite beginning) but Hands-on has consistently been our first enjoy, so we have no plans for this to become a mommy/daddy journal, especially since it did not take that turn when we had Clara. The balance seems to be a big slice of home related stuff and a smaller slice of personal/family/random – so I think after six years of that general ratio, it is simply how we like to journal. Having another child is certainly a big deal in our little world, and since this journal is essentially about our home life we are sure it’ll get worked in regularly, but we do not ever foresee it overshadowing our core Hands-on focus.

Will you keep pregnancy posts to the house Life? We are planning to stick to the same formula that we used for our pregnancy/birth with Clara, meaning that Hands-on-related updates (like putting the nursery together) or home-related kid stuff (like this post about what we picked up to prepare for Clara’s arrival or this one about living with kid stuff everywhere) will be shared over here along with other “meaty” life and family posts (like Clara’s birth story, our cloth diapering adventures, my experience with 14 months of breastfeeding, etc). Meanwhile swift little updates/videos/photos about pregnancy and having a newborn will most likely live over on the house Life. We think of that site as sort of a family photo/video album, so short clips and swift stories typically end up over there.

I cannot wait for you folks to plan another nursery. Can you share a mood board? Or simply give us any small hints on plans for that room? We are so excited about the nursery, but I think we will do what we did when we were pregnant with Clara: wait until we know the sex before starting on the room. It also helps ease my mind because I do not want to feel like I am jumping the gun on anything since this pregnancy is not guaranteed to be a smooth one. So by waiting a little while we can simply kick around ideas and give ourselves time to gear up and dive in when we are closer to my due date.

Any weird cravings this time? Baked potatoes. Simply like last time. And salt and vinegar chips. And pickles. I am a stereotype with the pickles. I cannot assist it.

Where did you get that fabric in the background of your photos on Wednesday?! We got that at a local fabric outlet called U-Fab, and it was marked from $27 a yard down to $7.99 a yard (we shared it on Instagram here). It is by Braemore and it is called Pomegranite. He’s the listing on U-Fab’s site. We are thinking of either using it here in our house somewhere or in the showhouse. It was too good of a deal to pass up.

Will you, Sherry, perhaps learn to drive again/take lessons or anything since you said you do not drive anymore? Oh yeah, I owe you folks an update on that! I have been driving! John’s still the primary driver simply because he likes it and knows all the shortcuts, but I occasionally run errands or will switch off with John on long road trips to give him a break if he’s tired. I have consistently had my license (kept renewing it even when I was in NYC for 6 years taking the subway) so it simply took a little practice to get back in the saddle, so to speak.

Since Burger is a “barky dog” do you have any pointers for keeping the house quiet during baby nap times? Right before Clara was born my sister-in-law told me never to tiptoe around a sleeping baby (she said she vacuumed under all three of her kids’ cribs while they slept blissfully) and there truly does seem to be something to it. We have DIYed while Clara sleeps (and Burger has had random barking fits) fairly much since we brought Clara home – and while I am sure some of it is nature and some of it is nurture (in other words, it likely will not work with every child), Clara has grown up to be a pleasant solid sleeper through all the chaos. We do use a sound machine in her room (to block the hammering or the barking somewhat) and also have light blocking curtains in there (she does seem to prefer total darkness even if there is banging in the background).

Will you cloth diaper again? Will you use the same ones you used on Clara? Did you take your diaper sprayer with you from the old house? We have all of our supplies (our Bum Genius diapers and our sprayers) and we plan to reuse them after the baby gets big sufficient, like we did with Clara (I think it took her 2-3 months to grow into the one-size-fits-alls but they lasted her for years until she potty trained). We think all of them are in good sufficient condition to be reused, although we need to double-check them (since they’ve been packed up for several months now) and do not mind picking up a few more if we need to. They certainly pay for themselves a hundred times over.

Are you nesting? I do not think I am simply yet. I am making plenty of lists and certainly have a million things I’d enjoy to do before the baby’s here, but I am not in that emptying-every-cabinet-and-scrubbing-it-like-a-maniac stage yet (that happened around 35 weeks with Clara).

Does the pregnancy change what is next on your to-do list? Well it certainly bumped the nursery onto the list! I think generally we are still interested in living here and seeing how this house works for our now-growing family, so we are not planning to gut any kitchens or bathrooms before the baby comes since we will only have been in this house a few months (we generally like to wait over a year for those things). But I think we will keep pleasant and busy on non-gut jobs like setting up the nursery, adding built-ins to the bedroom and the office, working more on the living room and the guest room and the dining room, along with doing some in-the-meantime updates in the kitchen and bathrooms before those bigger down-the-road renovations.

I feel like a member of my own family is having a baby, can we all be honorary aunts and uncles please??? Yes. We are so grateful for all of the healthy baby prayers/vibes/dances that you folks have sent our way. Honestly, we will take every last one of them and we enjoy you folks. Do not make me get all hormonal and goobery. *sob* Too late.