How Lowe’s Can Ya Go?: a house log

7:30pm, Monday-

SHERRY: Floors are looking strong so far, right?
JOHN: Certainly. You agree, Burger?
(Burger stands in silent agreement)
SHERRY: Do you think it is weird that there is no baseboard here against the brick?
JOHN: No, it is fine.
SHERRY: Yeah, you are right. It is fine.

11:00pm, Monday-

SHERRY: I have been thinking, it is weird that there is no baseboard there.
JOHN: What? No, it looks fi-
SHERRY: TOTALLY weird.
JOHN: Okay. So what do you want to do?
SHERRY: Get a baseboard and have the floor folks install it.
JOHN: But the floor folks’ last day is tomorrow and we cannot buy any baseboards tonight because Lowe’s closed an hour ago.
SHERRY: Can you get it tomorrow morning before work?
JOHN: Do you think they even make that kind of baseboard anymore?
SHERRY: You are right. I should come with you. But we will have to be back before the folks show up at 7:30.

(Here come the famous last words.)

JOHN: Well, Lowe’s does open at 6am…

And that is how we found ourselves in the wood cutting department at 6:21 this morning.