John’s dad, nicknamed “El Cheapo,” is one of our best examples of thoughtful money management. That nickname doesn’t mean he lives without comforts or wears shoes with holes; rather, he chooses to save for the things that matter most to him—like a family-sized vehicle and a vacation home where the family can gather—while passing on expenses that bring less value, such as pricey restaurant meals or an oversized, room-filling TV. What matters is deciding your priorities: if a large flat-screen would truly make you happier than a minivan, then it makes sense to save toward that instead.
Tom literally sets money aside for years to buy a car, researches his options carefully, makes a purchase, and then drives that vehicle for as long as possible. Stretching the life of a car often results in a far lower cost per year or per mile than many people expect. For example, he still drives a fully functional 1998 Nissan Quest with more than 300,000 miles on it, while his wife drives a newer Honda Pilot. They saved up for the Pilot, but since the Nissan still runs reliably his attitude is, “why not drive it until it dies?” He knows what to spend on and what to forgo, and he will willingly redirect funds from one area to secure something that brings his family real joy—a practical and admirable stance.
We mentioned both Tom and my father in a previous post when answering the question “how do you budget and afford so many DIY projects?” and their approaches were part of that discussion. After that post, Tom sent an email that was so insightful and heartfelt we wanted to share it with you. His words capture the spirit of intentional frugality.
Tom’s message highlights an important distinction: frugality isn’t simply about giving things up. Instead, it’s a strategy for getting what you truly want. He writes that frugality’s real goal is to identify what brings you the greatest rewards and to pursue those things enthusiastically. When Tom and Kathy married, buying their first home was a major stretch financially, but they loved every minute. Later they bought a larger home, another big leap, and it has been a blessing. Both choices were made with frugality in mind—choosing to forgo some things now in order to have something more meaningful later.
“Loved your frugal blog post! Funny thing: I was just ‘admiring’ that puffy painted tie from John yesterday. But onward to the main point: too often frugality is incorrectly viewed as ‘giving up,’ when the real point of frugality is ‘getting what you really really want.’ Many times I think the main point of frugality isn’t in ‘not buying;’ the main point of frugality—and perhaps life—is to recognize what brings you the greatest rewards and to go enthusiastically for those things. When Kathy and I got married, buying our first home was a biiig stretch, all $27,500, but we loved every minute of it. And buying our current home was a bigger stretch, but it has been a great blessing. And they were both ‘frugal’ decisions. The point is, if you as a person truly derive great pleasure from something, the frugal behavior is to ‘go for it’—enthusiastically and whole hog. Who cares if you’re not going out to dinner if the money you’re saving can afford you the things you really want? What is given up means little compared with the pleasure of the better choices.” – Love, Tom/Dad
We wanted to pass along Tom’s perspective because it resonated with us and with many readers of our earlier money-management post. His approach is a useful reminder that thoughtful saving is not about deprivation; it’s about prioritizing what brings lasting satisfaction. Do you have similar lessons from your parents or another family member—wisdom that still influences how you spend or save today? We’d love to hear what traditions or values you’ve inherited and how they shape your household’s choices.