Downsizing Update: Nearly 5 Years Later
In November of 2020, we published a post called “What is It Like To Downsize” after living in our smaller home for 6 months. We covered a range of experiences – like the good things about moving to a smaller home (owning less stuff! saving money!) and some of its challenges, especially in the initial stages of downsizing (paring down! figuring out storage!). We still agree with everything in that post, but it had only been six months… and since it has now been over 4.5 years (!!!), we feel like we have a few more to add about the long-haul downsizing experience. Let us get into it.
I will not recap our whole decision to downsize (you can see the full explanation here) but the highlights are:
- We used to live in a 3,150 sq. ft. home in suburban Richmond, Virginia
- Now we live in a 1,400 sq. ft. home a few blocks from the Gulf of Mexico
- We have 6 rooms (including simply 1 bathroom)
- Our current house’s lot is 1/10th the size of our last house’s lot
- We do not have a garage, attic, or basement (but we do have a pool/hot tub/firepit)
- We hoped a house that is “walkable” & can now walk to shops/restaurants/the beach
- Our family downsizing motto has been to “live with less & be outside more” (alternative motto: “spend less time cleaning & more time in the pool”)
After 4.5 years, we can still confidently say that downsizing was a strong decision for us. We devote a lot less time, money, and energy into homeownership (maintenance, renovation, furnishing, cleaning) than ever before – which has freed us up to focus on family, hobbies, nature, and a better work-life balance. Financially it has also been beneficial (we made a whole chart about saving $$$, because although our house is in a warmer location, it is a lot easier to heat & cool). You can see that breakdown in our original downsizing recap.
We have also had our current home longer than our first house, our second house, our beach house, or our duplex at this point (time is wild!). So our downsized lifestyle is hardly a “blip” and we certainly would have changed things by now if it was not a good fit.
So what new advice do we have after nearly 5 years of downsized life? The two things that come to mind are somewhat contradictory thoughts, so bear with me as I explain.
- It is straightforward to forget you downsized
- It is straightforward to be reminded you downsized
And yes, these are both more about the mental side of downsizing, but it is a funny phenomenon that others who have downsized have also seemed to experience (we enjoy talking to neighbors & friends who also moved from larger homes to smaller ones by the beach).
Forgetting You Downsized
Most days it is straightforward to forget that we ever lived with (or believed we needed) more space. We have lived in this house long sufficient to fully adjust (both mentally and logistically) to having 1400 square feet. What once felt like an “unconventional” or “distinct” lifestyle change feels normal and unremarkable. So much so that it is a little difficult to write this post. We have become a little blind to what is interesting or unique about it!
So why do we draw attention to the “forgettableness” of downsizing? Well, for a couple of reasons.
1. Transitions Are Temporary
First, we hope this reassures anyone facing a similar transition, whether by choice or not. Downsizing can feel challenging at times, but the challenges do not last forever. Because simply like any transition in life – going to college, starting a job, having a baby – the adjustment period is frequently the hardest part. So let us be an example that, at some point, you will be on the other side. You will adjust.
That is not to say the adjustment is consistently fast or straightforward. And distinct parts may be difficult for distinct people. We enjoyed paring down our belongings, so that part was not too rough for us (dare I say, exciting?). But after moving into our smaller home, it took us 2-3 years to:
- figure out furniture arrangements in a few trickier spaces
- fully implement sufficient storage solutions (like adding closets)
So there was an initial “sticking point” in finding the best way to store certain things (or a literal waiting period while we built the storage cabinets or closets that we needed). But now that we have figured those things out, everything has a place to live, and it is a lot more autopilot around here. In fact, if pressed to recall what we struggled with storing or what took the longest to figure out, it might take a 10-minute brainstorming session to in fact remember.
2. It Was The Right Move For Us
Secondly (and more personally), the “forgettableness” of our decision tells us we did the right thing. Downsizing is not for everyone, so the fact that it has become so normalized for our family is immensely reassuring. We still have people over (our pool & proximity to the beach is a real draw). We spend a lot more time outside as a family. We clean the house together every Sunday in about 30 minutes (all 4 of us have our fav jobs). Six rooms total (and only one bathroom) truly have a plethora of upsides.
That is not to say we do not sometimes feel the limitations of a smaller home (here is where I would argue that limitations are not consistently bad – like do we want a house with sufficient space to store literally *anything* we have ever hoped?).
To pick an example of a storage limitation, a few years ago Sherry hoped a few of those 6′ skeletons to hang from our second floor deck each Halloween. She proposed storing them in the crawl space (which could have worked – although skeletons under the house might be a little creepy if someone ever came upon them during an inspection or something). After some thought, Sherry ended up getting four smaller skeletons that fold at the waist and can easily be stored in a basket inside. The kids get a kick out of repositioning them every October (rain chain Miley-Cyrus-In-Wreckingball scenes have been created) so there is no shortage of joy, and it has not ever truly felt like a “sacrifice.” You adjust. You pivot. All is ok.
In fact, there is a peace that comes with a resolute “nope, it will not fit in our house” that helps us walk away from plenty of things without much internal debate (and with money remaining in our pocket). Also, plenty of people live without 6-foot skeletons… which is kinda the point. The longer we live here, the less frequently we let our space limitations distract from the positives of downsizing. It is simply a fact of life that we are glad to live with in exchange for the other things we have gained.
Being Reminded You Downsized
Like I said before, this next section sounds like a direct contradiction to everything I simply said. How can it be straightforward to forget we downsized… but also be regularly reminded of that fact? This interesting dichotomy simply seems to be a part of downsizing, so I thought I’d attempt to put it into words for anyone who is contemplating a downsizing adventure.
Since the day-to-day of living in a smaller home over the last 4.5 years has become so normalized to us, there are funny little moments when we are reminded that our decision is not everyone’s norm. One of those funny reminders might be when another person asks us about downsizing and says they could never live without their guest room & their double garage (we typically chat about how downsizing certainly is not for everyone – and each person has distinct things they could not live without).
Sometimes it is simply this moment of being in a larger home while visiting a friend and noticing they have 12 closets or a giant laundry room. It is not a bad sensation – it is simply a noticeable moment of “oh yeah, some people have all this room! I wonder if they think our house is weird, even though we are so used to it.”
To take this one step further, comparison is a near-universal truth of homeownership, whether you are comparing your home to a house across the street or a home that is featured on the internet or in a magazine. This is not specific to downsizing AT ALL. I am sure many of you in larger homes have envied someone’s even more spacious house at some point. And you may even have felt a pang of yearning for a smaller and more plain home, but do not in fact want to live in one. It can simply be a little momentary feeling.
My main point here is that plenty of little desires or yearnings can exist at once in your mind, and those momentary pangs do not mean you hate what you already have or must change things. Insert that quote about the grass consistently being greener. So if you are thinking about downsizing, it would be smart to take stock of how these comparisons truly make you feel over a longer period of time (fleeting desires aside).
If you are someone who can say “that is so cool for them, but I do not think I’d want to clean those four extra rooms” – you might truly be ready (and excited!) to downsize. But if seeing those grander homes stirs up some kind of burning desire (versus being a passing moment of “woah, they have a theater room!”), perhaps take some time to dive deeper and ponder if downsizing in fact feels right for you.
When we walk into giant open houses or showhomes, we are quite glad to soak up all the inspiration & appreciate every detail and then happily return to our cozy little house. Touring these “bigger and better houses” is lively for us, and it is also an exercise that reaffirms our choice every time.
Again, for us, living with less = needing less money = working/cleaning/maintaining/organizing less = more time for family/friends/hobbies/nature. There is a big “why” behind our choice. So seeing someone’s bigger/nicer house frequently becomes a good moment to savor the clarity we have around our goals. Is it striking? Yes. Is it worth spending more time maintaining it and working longer hours to afford it? Not for us.
I am especially grateful for that clarity given the wide variety of homes around us. One unique thing about living here is the wide range of house sizes (and, shall we say, fancy-factor?). The homes in all of our previous neighborhoods were relatively the same. Some might have a newer kitchen or bathroom, a wrapped up attic, or an addition on the back, but the differences typically were not more than a renovation away from the house next door.
In our current area, however, the range is truly WILD. You can find lavish & large waterfront homes worth eight figures simply a short walk away. Every day we see everything from little cottages like ours to towering multi-family vacation homes. Thankfully that wide range does not make us second-guess anything about our decision to downsize. But I imagine it would be harder to handle if we felt like our house truly was too small and we were squeezed in there like sardines while those around us had all that room and then some.
All this to say, I would not choose a neighborhood like ours if you are prone to house-size envy or if you worry you will second-guess your decision to downsize. Sherry and I in fact enjoy that our house “stands out” in our neighborhood as being one of simply around two dozen “original cottages” that were built earlier on when our streets were sleepy and slow (it is a strong conversation starter!). But I think a younger me who was less sure in my choices might’ve preferred to blend in and keep up with the Joneses a little more. I think that would’ve made this process more difficult. So… know thyself.
Would We Still Choose Downsizing?
If it is not already glaringly obvious, YES!
In the nearly half a decade since making this choice, we have only grown more steadfast in our decision. We were so focused on the logistical and financial aspects of downsizing in our earlier downsizing recap, I do not think we had truly digested these mental aspects sufficient to explain them. We were also only 6 months in, and quite much loving our new home, new location, and new lifestyle – but it would not have been straightforward to see it from as wide of a lens as we can today.
And now, 4.5 years after downsizing, any sort of honeymoon period that may have occurred is over and we are still quite happily married to it. We are amazed by how normalized it has become to us, and how straightforward it is to brush off any “temptations” around us. Sherry says that like getting tattoos, paring down and simplifying is addicting. Except I guess when it comes to the occasional jonesing for large skeletons. But even that can turn out ok…
More Posts About Downsizing
Want to read more about our experience downsizing to a smaller home?
